Who says Being a Klutz is Easy?

Saturday is juz another Sad-urdays

Hmm.. Usually i'm quite a quick observer when it comes to people, but when it comes to me, I'm a bit S-L-O-W. Seriously, i juz realise that after my drama rehearsals on Saturdays, I immdeiately went home after that. I mean seriously, I stopped going out with my frens, prior to them being busy dealing with ur stuffs, yeah, and it's like my only off day on Saturdays. The clubbin interest is there but, it's slowly killing me. I mean dealing with the PLU issues and all that, Ugh, sometimes i find people are a bit bias, well, that's life if u called it. It's never been fair.

Pardon my negativity, but usually when i have time for myself, i like to think, for myself, thinkin about the future, thinking about wad's gonna happen to myself and wonder am i going through the right path. Like Hafi told me the other time at work he say something like 'I like working alone, it gives time for yourself to think, what u want for urself in life, and it's like reflection period.' I couldn't agree with the 17 year old optimistic guy. Before i was typing my entry for this post, i rummage through my past blog www.backyardjunkie.blogspot.com, going throught the entries of my past, as i was at it, it tickled me with the entries i had, especially the ones is 2006, before my time to serve the nation. I was telling myself 'wow, is that what i wrote?' Yup, i guess i had quite a few issues back then, was so naive, stupidly fallen in "love" which i don't even know what that means. Not even now.

Like Jason Mraz says: "it takes no time to fall in love but it takes you years to know what love is and it takes some fears to make you trust it takes those tears to make it rust it takes the dust to have it polished"

And during that point of my old blog i realised it's beem flooded with my sappy emo poems, well not professionally written like the O level students or writers like Alfian Saat or Boo Junfeng, but it's juz a localised and easier to understand i suppose. Though my dream is to be a Playwright of course, but the journey is still long and undecided.

With the song 'Disappear' by Beyonce Knowles that's been taking off from her new album 'I Am.. Sasha Fierce.' I felt that I'm hooked to it that i could relate to the lyrics. Somehow actually. Anyways, talk about Beyonce, her 3rd album is not too bad, i was expecting more jumpy and dance, but less dance in this 1 but more ballads, but still, i really like it.

Something happened to me 3 days ago, it was quite disturbing tho, yet surprising, i find. I got a call, from my sister, asking me how am i doing and all that, she was talking to me on the phone and my reply was a bit cold, not that i couldn't care less but was questioning my ego, 'Why?' I can't really elaborate more as it's complicated as it looks already, I'm wiring up myself with work and hoping to get a part time job soon at some 24 hour cafe maybe? like Gloria Jeans? the one in front of Cine? hmm. i wanna check it out soon whether they take night shift ppl. No matter what, i got to tell myself i need to be strong, always tell myself 'it's for the rent.'

As it was past that he was living in torment,

he paused for awhile as if his heart stopped beating at that moment,

He resides in the dark where fear conquers the mind,

Unsure of himself where he had deliberately crossed that line,

Entangled in despair, angsty and hatred,

Can't managed to find his own cup of comfort.

A mask of uncertainty lies on his face,

Yearning for love or dying to be saved?

Something abstract I wrote i guess, like i art i suppose, maybe suggestions or comments from the panel? yes, u readers are my panel, been a while i haven't wrote anythin, pardon my grammar though.. Working tomorrow again, and next week's my show and no1 have yet to tell me whether they're going or not.. hmm.. seems like there's no1 coming though, oh well..

xoxo mrklutz sleeping off..